How to cope when a foster placement ends

The end of a foster care placement is an emotional experience. No matter what type of foster care you are involved in – long term, short term, emergency, respite, supported lodgings – you are bound to form a bond with your foster child. Welcoming a child into your home is no small thing, and watching them walk out the door for a final time is a tough thing to do.

At Orchard Fostering, we understand the difficult nature of saying goodbye to a child in your care. To help combat the pain of farewells, we’ve compiled some tips for coping when a foster child’s placement ends. Read on to find out more about why foster placements end and how to cope when your foster placement ends.

If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.

Why do foster placements end?

As a foster carer, your job is to provide a safe and secure environment for a child who cannot access a stable environment with their birth parents or guardians at that time. There are lots of reasons why a foster placement might end.

One of the reasons is reunification – when a foster child is reunited with their birth parents or guardians following a period in foster care. The decision to reunite a foster child with their birth family or guardians is made by the courts and TUSLA.

As well as reunification, your foster child may be placed with their siblings (something that is not always immediately possible, but is desirable). If your foster child has additional needs, they may be placed in a more fitting foster care scenario. Once a child reaches a certain age, they can leave care – a real milestone in the life of a foster child (and their foster carer).

Coping when a foster child’s placement ends

As we’ve mentioned already, saying goodbye to your foster child is a tough thing to do. There are, however, plenty of strategies you can apply in order to ease the pain of a placement ending. Here’s what we recommend:

Work closely with your social worker, remember your training and avail of our services

At Orchard Fostering, we provide every carer with regular access to a dedicated social worker. Your social worker is there to offer advice and guidance throughout the entire fostering journey. When you know a placement is coming to an end, your social worker will be there to guide you through the planned ending.

As an Orchard Fostering carer, you’ll also be provided with thorough training on all aspects of the fostering process – including how to cope with the ending of a placement, and feelings of grief and loss. When your time comes, remember your training – and don’t be afraid to ask us for help. As well as training, we provide support groups for our foster carers in your area. These are great places to meet other foster carers and to talk about your experiences – especially if you are struggling with the idea of your foster child leaving your care. They can also help prepare the whole family for saying goodbye to your foster child – something we deal with in more detail, see our blog on tips on telling loved ones you are fostering.

Create a memory box

Mementos are powerful things – they can bring us back to a time, a place, a feeling. Before your foster child leaves your home, why not compile a memory box for them (or, better yet, start one as soon as they come to live with you)? We provide all our foster carers with handmade wooden memory boxes to fill with photos, ticket stubs and other bits and pieces from your life together. Write them a letter, letting them know how important they were (and are) to you and pop it in the box, too. By creating a physical representation of your time together, you can reinforce their memories, giving them something to look back on in the future.

Keep in touch (if appropriate)

Dropping your foster child an email, or a text, even arranging a video chat is a great way of maintaining a connection with your foster child after they have left your care. Talk to your social worker about contacting your foster child after they have left your care – if they think it’s appropriate, email etc. can be a great way of maintaining and developing your relationship with your foster child. Keeping in touch is particularly helpful for care leavers. As they enter the wider world for the first time as adults, it can be helpful to have a familiar face helping them along in the background.