Deciding to foster a child is a big decision. Fostering impacts the life of a carer in a myriad of ways – and it also has a huge effect on the carer’s wider family and social circle. At Orchard Fostering, we understand the enormity of the decision to foster – and we understand how difficult it can be to begin to broach the topic with family and friends.
To help you figure out how best to discuss your decision to foster with family and friends, we’ve prepared a primer on how to talk to your family about fostering. Read on for a guide on how to tell your family you are fostering, strategies for telling loved ones you are fostering, and tips on explaining foster care to your extended family.
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page. We recruit carers from all across Ireland. At the moment, we’re particularly focused on the west and south of the country – if you are in those areas and interested in fostering, please contact us today.
How to talk to your family about fostering
The first step on the fostering journey is very personal. One day, something clicked and it felt right – maybe fostering is for you. Your immediate family are the ones who will be most impacted by welcoming a foster child into your home – therefore, it is vital that you talk with your family about fostering in a timely and thoughtful manner.
Prior to bringing the topic up, it is a good idea to get your own thinking straight – your family will have lots of questions and you may feel like you are being bombarded with queries. Think about the “why” and make sure you can articulate your reasons before getting into any big discussions.
Once you’re ready to have the discussion, go into the conversation with an open mind. Lay out your reasons for fostering, but allow yourself to hear any concerns your family may have. Take those concerns away and consider them carefully before responding in a positive way.
If you have a partner, you will likely both talk over the idea for some time before making a final decision to approach an agency like Orchard Fostering (of course, you can foster with us if you’re single, too). If you have birth children, they will likely have a lot of questions – you can read more about how to talk to your birth children about fostering.
Explaining foster care to your extended family
Once you’ve made your decision with your immediate family, it’s time to bring the subject up with other members of your extended family. Depending on your situation, your extended family may provide you and your foster child with a support system. As such, they are bound to have valuable thoughts and opinions on the subject.
You can decide to tell your extended family about your fostering journey at any point – you could let them know when you start the assessment process with Orchard Fostering, or you could tell them within days of thinking of the idea yourself. Everyone’s situation is different – you know your family best.
Once you’ve decided to tell your extended family about your foster care journey, it helps to let them know what you expect from them (and what they can expect from you) throughout the process. Are they going to help out the way they would with your birth children? Are they going to take a step back? What level of input are they going to have? This decision is up to them – but you can help inform that decision by discussing fostering openly and honestly with them.
Depending on how involved your extended family plan to be with your foster child, it can be useful to let them into your foster child’s life. Explain the situation your foster child has come from, let them know if there are any triggering or traumatic events in their past, allow them to get to know and appreciate your foster child like a member of the family.
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.