Opening your home and to a child involves embracing lots of changes. One major consideration for lots of potential carers is the changes a new person can have on their family dynamic. While adults can find change a little easier to accept (mostly!), children can sometimes struggle with understanding the why or how of a situation.
As a result of this, “how will fostering affect my children?” is one of the more frequently asked questions we get here at Orchard Fostering. While we’ve talked before about the challenges and benefits associated with fostering with your own child, we feel that it’s time we returned to the subject. Join us, as we take a closer look at how to prepare your children for the changes that come with fostering.
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.
Choose the right moment to inform them
The decision to embark on the fostering journey is a very personal one. Prior to reaching out to a fostering agency, you have likely mulled over the idea in your mind for some time, before talking to a partner or loved one about the idea. Your children may not have been privy to this interior conversation – perhaps you didn’t want to get their hopes up, or worry them unnecessarily.
At some point, however, you’ve got to have the conversation. You’ll know yourself when this moment arrives. It could be after you’ve first contacted an agency or after you’ve had your first conversation with a social worker. So long as you provide your child with ample time to process and reflect on the changes coming their way, you’re golden.
Give them time to process the information
Our big tip for telling your child you are going to foster? Be prepared for lots of questions. Get your thinking straight on the why and how of fostering. Your child may feel that their world has been turned upside down – if you can provide them with assurances and comfort by answering their questions clearly and cleanly, it’ll go a long way toward making them feel safe and secure throughout the change process.
This process may take time – your child will be taking on a lot of new information and may need some space in which to acclimatise to it all. Have the conversation, then back off – let them have a think and work things out for themselves. Once you reckon they’re ready to talk again, bring it back up. Talk it out – it’s the best way to get everything out in the open.
Include them every step of the way
As well as having the conversation about fostering with your child, make sure to give them space to voice their opinions, feelings and thoughts on the idea. They are a member of your family unit and they will be impacted just as much (if not more) by the inclusion of another person in your household. If they have a concern, take it on board – don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations with them. Bringing things out in the open is far better than leaving them to fester – this can lead to a build-up of resentment and potential difficulties for you, your child and the child in your care.
Keep your child informed of progress you are making. Let them in on any updates you might get from your social worker. Bring them into the care world and watch them thrive. Allow them to feel the sense of responsibility that comes with being involved with someone in care. By including your child in the fostering process, you can make them feel part of the team – a great way to help them build a relationship with the child in your care.
As well as support within the family, Orchard Fostering also offer a range of supports of which your child can avail. Whether it is attending preparation training with the social care team or getting to grips with new changes in one of our birth children support groups, Orchard Fostering are here for you and your child every step of the way.
Fostering when you have a child can be an incredibly rewarding experience – watching your own child grow to care for another child, develop empathy skills and create an emotional bond can be life changing (for you and for them).
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.