Keeping foster children connected to their biological parents is a necessary and very important part of the fostering journey – in most scenarios, the child in your care will have regular visits with their birth parents or members of their birth family. These visits are designed to promote the child’s sense of identity – letting them know where it is they come from and giving them the opportunity to maintain a connection to their birth family throughout their fostering journey.
As a foster parent, you may be wondering about foster children and family visits. At Orchard Fostering, we have all the support for foster parents in place to assist you in the meaningful role you may play in promoting or supporting family visits. Read on to find out our tips to help your foster child prepare for a family visit, how to support foster children during family visits, and how to help a foster child after a visit or contact.
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.
What are the guidelines on family visits for foster children?
Facilitating access to birth parents/ families is a pivotal part of the work you do as a foster parent, as you help to establish a connection between the child in your care and their birth family. While this can at times be a fraught experience for all, there are guidelines in place to ensure that access runs smoothly and positively for everyone.
The frequency and length of family visits are decided on an individual basis by the child’s social worker (sometimes, a judge may be involved in this decision), who takes the child’s best interests into account at all times. Once frequency has been established, access can take place in a variety of settings – a social work office, a community centre, a primary care centre. You can even meet in a park or a shopping centre. One place the visit will never take place is in your own home – this is your private space.
As a foster carer, your role is often to bring your child to the meeting point – after that, they will be greeted by their birth family. Visits can be supervised or unsupervised depending on the situation – the child’s social worker or an access worker will usually be involved with supervision. You will not be expected to supervise the visit. You can read more about parental access and reunification here.
Tips to help your foster child prepare for a family visit
While the guidelines are there to ensure the smooth running of the family visit, the preparation for the visit itself can be a little daunting, especially the first time. Both you and your foster child may be anxious about the meeting – and that’s okay! We’ve got some tips and tricks to help prepare the both of you for a family visit.
As always, you’ve got to communicate clearly with your child – let them know what is about to happen in advance and discuss how they feel about it. Talking things through always helps to alleviate any pressure or anxiety you may be experiencing.
Make sure that the visits are scheduled to suit the child in your care. This can be worked on with your social worker, to ensure where possible that there is no great disruption to your child’s regular schedule – especially if they are attending school.
How to support your foster child during family visits
While foster parents are rarely present for family visits, you can still help your child through the visit in a couple of small ways. One popular idea for alleviating the stress associated with family visits is the “transitional objects” – this could be a toy, a teddy bear, or a blanket that your child was given in your care. By bringing this object along with them, they remain tethered to you – while still being able to visit with their family. This creates a connection between you and the child in your care, which they can tap into if they start to feel worried or anxious about their family visit.
You can also help promote the bond between the child in your care and their birth family by helping your child create a gift for their birth parents. A hand-drawn picture or a hand-crafted token can help build a bridge between the different environments your child is crossing between. This may also help forge a positive relationship between foster parents and your child’s birth parents, which has been proven to improve a foster child’s experience of care.
How might I help the child after a visit or contact
Following a family visit, the child in your care may be a little out of sorts – they will have had a physically and emotionally draining time, and may need some space to decompress and sort their feelings out. Give them this space – a little alone time in their bedroom may be just the ticket – but make sure they are aware that you are there to talk with them about their feelings.
When they’re ready, talk about the visit – how did it go, how was everyone, how did they feel about the experience? Don’t push them, but do encourage them to open up about it – this helps build that all-important connection between the two spheres of their life. It also shows that you are their ally in this – and will be there for them whenever they need you.
If you’re interested in foster care, please reach out to Orchard Fostering today. We’re available on the phone or via email – you can also fill out a form directly on our contact page.